I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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