Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
