I'm drive I can fine osifer
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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