I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
