i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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