On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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