Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
