he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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