i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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