Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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