you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
