can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
third nipple confirmed
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
