Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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