My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
