a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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