Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
