Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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