today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Boobs are out for the taking
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
