I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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