He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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