I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
