Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize