I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Just puked most of my soul out..
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
