That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
