i permit you to call me
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
