This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
