I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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