I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
