Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
