theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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