Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
