i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
