the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
