on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just found puke in my bra..
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
