my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
