Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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