ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
