Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
