I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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