no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
