if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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