Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
