last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
