He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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