Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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