Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
