the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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