WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
