I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
