theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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