I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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