Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
