I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He has the fingertips of a God
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