I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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