How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Terrible idea I love it
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
