i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
