I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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